Need vs. God's Will

There are days when I hate the whole adoption process. You know, the days when you want to close your eyes and click your heels together 3X and say: "There's no place like my imaginary world. There's no place like my imaginary world." And suddenly you find yourself in the midst of that world of soft edges and perfect color. A world where everything flows just right and is perfect. Perfect decisions, perfect people, perfect situations. A perfection that requires little from you because you are perfect too.

I'm having one of those days when I hate the adoption process. It's one of those days when I wish I was waking up in my imaginary world, but instead am faced with NEED. How do you handle it?

How do you handle seeing a need so great that it is hard to even look at it? Even worse, how do you handle it when you finally do look and realize that you meeting that need is contrary to God's will? Need vs. God's will...it is hard to deal with...but even harder when it deals with human life.

I am struggling...struggling with the knowledge that God is probably telling me to step away from faces filled with some of the deepest need I have seen because it is not His will for us. I am struggling not to feel like I am abandoning these faces. I'm trying so hard to remind myself that I am leaving them in Palm of His hand. But it doesn't help...because I am struggling with the pain of their NEED and the knowledge that I could meet it if I chose. But how do you choose to meet a need contrary to God's will? And are you really meeting that need if you do?

There are days when I hate the whole adoption process...I'm having one of those days.

HIV Adoptions: Oh Yes You Can!

This is a great short video that talks about the realities of adopting HIV positive children. As we look towards our future adoption from Uganda and the possibility that one of our children may have this condition...we want all of our friends and family to be educated on what that means. This video is a great starting point. Take a few minutes if you can and watch it.

http://www.facinglife.tv/episode/season_3/episode_7/episode_307.html
(once it opens up the page for you, click on the link to watch the whole episode)

Summary
Carolyn Twietmeyer called her husband at work one day and said she found the children they were supposed to adopt, and one of them is HIV positive. Kiel Twietmeyer didn’t really know how to respond. After about two weeks of contemplation the couple decided they had to go to Ethiopia to adopt the three siblings orphaned by AIDS. Before leaving to come home to the U.S., Carolyn took her son to visit his friends at the orphanage. It was during this visit that she met Selah, also orphaned by AIDS and living with stage four AIDS. Today, as the newest Twietmeyer child, Selah’s health has significantly improved with the help of antiretroviral drugs, a dose of hope, and lots of love from a blended family.

The idea of adopting a child with HIV isn’t rare. Margaret Fleming, founder of Adoption Link and Chances By Choice, an adoption agency for HIV/AIDS orphans, says there are many parents desiring to adopt a child with HIV. Today with the advancement of antiretroviral medications the lifespan of a child living with HIV has greatly increased. Mary Austin, an RN and adoption advocate with the agency says the virus is often times more manageable than diabetes. Margaret has adopted three children with HIV and Mary has adopted one child with HIV.

The United Nations reports there are 14 million AIDS orphans worldwide. 22 million people have died from AIDS with 74% of that population living in sub-Saharan Africa.

Paperwork Party!

Well, yesterday we took another major step forward in our Ugandan adoption. We had put it on hold for a season because it was looking like we would be welcoming 2 orphans from the US into our family. Thankfully, extended family members of these two dear children stepped up and took them under their wings. So we're now back to walking through this amazing, challenging process.

I was finally able to finish all the paperwork for our international homestudy and mail it into the agency. Now we wait for them to contact us later this week and set up a time to meet with our social worker to finalize the homestudy. We're both excited about this and nervous as well.

I think the money has begun to feel more daunting to us lately. It has kept me up the last several nights. I lay awake trying to brainstorm ways to supplement our income without leaving Boo or over-extending our family life. (which is arguably already over-extended) I felt myself getting more and more despondent over the situation. In fact, I started to question if we were even supposed to do this. Was I pushing something on our family that God didn't want?

The Major has been my rock through this whole time. He has not wavered once in his desire to see this through nor has his faith wavered that God will provide for us to bring these new recruits home to our arms. I'm so thankful for this man of God I am following. He is so wise and teaches me everyday about trusting God to do what He said He would.

So, we've moved forward...after praying together over the paperwork, we sent it away with all the hope, fear, and excitement that encompasses each step of an international adoption. May the Lord show Himself faithful on behalf of orphans worldwide!